rough day

I was looking forward to today..it was weigh in day. Each week I have been weighing myself and have been slowly losing pounds. Slower than I would like, but it still is a loss and I will take it. So today I felt good about weighing in. The past week I have been really dedicated to either running or biking every morning, watching what I eat (trying to stay under 1200 calories) and just feeling good. Then I learned I gained weight this week. UGH. Okay, let me say it is only 1 pound. But still 1 lb! I was so disappointed in myself and mad. There may or may not have been a dramatic moment this morning during breakfast...but I was upset and just felt that I have tried so hard just to gain weight! So once I came back to reality, I realized that it really wasn't the end of the world. The really nice thing about having a somewhat long commute to work in the morning is that it gave me some time to think and process this pound.

So this afternoon I signed up for a kettle bell class. A friend shared some information with me about a class and  I found an interesting blog that made me even more interested in the whole kettle bell experience. I always want to say cattle bell, but I think that is just my negative self image talking. I know I will never feel secure wearing a bikini...heck I never felt secure wearing a bikini when I was 16 and thin and in shape. And I don't want to wear a bikini or have a six pack.  I do have hopes of getting into that smaller size of jeans or tightening some areas (bingo wings) or maybe even getting the strength to feel more confident with myself and pushing my self beyond my limits. So I think that I will take some before and after photos to see if it really does make a difference.

So after feeling like crap all day and I went to say good bye to the administrative assistants. There are two in my office and they are the complete opposite of each other...but they get along so well and make me laugh because they are so brutally honest with each other. Anyhow...the one says to me "you are looking thinner in the middle". Okay not the nicest compliment, but I took it. And it made me feel a bit better. Whether she was just being nice, or maybe it was my outfit today, I appreciated it. I am not sure she realized how much better that made my day.